The French Brexit song

More details here

Oh England, you broke our heart

When you first voted to depart

But before you off and pack, one thing

We want our language back

Oh England, you went your way

But for this exit you will pay

Without French letters you’ll be lost

It’s time for you to count la cost

No you can’t have joie de vivre without le français

You’ll lose yourself without our cul-de-sac

There is no fizz without champagne

Though you can gladly keep your rain

We’re taking all our French words back

No, you cannot drive a car without a chauffeur

There’s no déjà-vu without déjà vu

What’s sex without its lingerie?

Piers Morgan without his toupée

We really feel miserable for you

Oh England, you’re such a fool

Did they teach you nothing at school

With politics you’ve been risqué

For Brexit is just an entrée

Yes England, this is the start

Of picking allies à la carte

Soon the whole world will turn on you

It isn’t nice, but it is true

Cause you cannot rendez-vous without le français

So many things that you will sorely miss

Like etiquette and ambulance

Without us you don’t stand a chance

You’ll die without our life saving French kiss

Key change!

No you can’t have marriage without fiancé

Without us your soufflé will never rise

Don’t bother to RSVP

We’ve buggered off for après ski

You didn’t get an invite, quelle surprise

Your cheeseboard will be blue without

Roquefort and camembert

When you can’t find the menu

You won't, because it isn’t there

When you smell of faint regret

Instead of fine eau de cologne

You only have yourselves to blame

For dining all alone

No you can’t eat à la mode without le français

You’ll have to scoff it all off one big plate

Alas there will be no encore

Now that you’ve bolted your back door

For a referendum you will have to wait

And if you want our bel esprit

I’m sorry darling, c’est la vie

You should have voted stay, it is too late

Yes, you should have voted stay it is too late

Sarah-Louise Young and Maxim Melton